Questions:

1] Think about someone you are close to. What are three ways you have made bids for connection with this person? Explain what those bids looked like.

2] When people make clear bids, people understand what they need and want. Why might people prefer not to be clear in their bid attempt?

3 A] Describe a situation where you made a fuzzy bid to a family member or loved one? Why do you think you chose to make it ambiguous?

B] Describe the same with a friend?

C] Describe the same with a work/school colleague?

4] Consider this situation: Maria is a friend who is having a problem with her son Don. Don isn’t listening to her, and he ignores her advice. Maria says this to you; “I’m so worried about Don since his grades are slipping, and he won’t listen to me.”

A] write an example of a turning toward response [passive/low energy, attentive, high-energy]

B] write an example of the recipient turning away response [preoccupied, disregarding, & interrupting]

C] write an example of the recipient turning against response [contemptuous, belligerence, contradictory, domineering]

5] Which of the above responses would be most beneficial to your relationship with Maria? Why? Explain:

6] To have good relationships with others, we need to think about how we make and respond to bids. What are some problems you know you have in making a bid? Write down 6 mistakes you sometime make when making a bid below.

The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships